Overcoming Sobriety Fears: Strategies for Confidence & Connection Without Alcohol

For many service members and their families, the idea of cutting back or quitting alcohol can cause a lot of stress and worry. You might fear being judged by others or losing your sense of belonging in social settings. These fears are normal, but they don’t have to stand in the way of your health and overall wellness. Keep reading to learn how to face these concerns head-on and stay mission ready, on and off duty.

Overcoming Common Fears About Reducing or Quitting Alcohol

Below are some common fears about reducing or quitting alcohol:

• Fear of Failure: It’s common to worry about whether you’ll be able to stick to your decision to give up alcohol or reduce your consumption. You might ask yourself, “What if I slip up?” or “What if I can’t do it?”
• Fear of Social Judgment: Some people may worry about what their friends, family, or coworkers will think if they stop drinking. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) notes that social pressure is a real challenge, especially in environments where drinking is common.
• Fear of Losing a Sense of Belonging or Enjoyment: You might wonder if you can still have fun or fit in at social events without a drink in your hand.

Strategies to Overcome These Fears

• Build Self-Confidence: Set small, achievable goals and celebrate your progress. Each step forward boosts your confidence and your readiness.
• Seek Supportive Networks: Surround yourself with people who respect your decision and support your goals. This could be a trusted friend, a fellow service member, or a support group. Military OneSource and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) both offer resources and support for service members and their families.
• Practice What to Say: If you’re worried about social judgment, plan ahead for how you’ll respond when offered a drink. Simple responses like, “I’m taking a break,” or “I’m focusing on my health,” can help you stay on track and limit awkward, uncomfortable interactions.
• Find Fulfilling, Alcohol-Free Activities: Look for new ways to have fun and connect with others, like sports, volunteering, or exploring new hobbies. Engaging in meaningful activities can boost your mood and help you build new social connections, all while supporting your health.
• Focus on Mission Readiness: Remember, reducing or quitting alcohol isn’t just about saying no to a drink—it’s about saying yes to being mission ready. Alcohol can slow your reaction times, affect your sleep, and lower your overall effectiveness to support and carry out the mission. By making healthier choices, you’re strengthening your readiness and setting an example for others.
• Reach Out for Help When Needed: If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to talk to a chaplain, counselor, or behavioral health professional. Asking for help is a sign of strength and commitment to your duties and fellow comrades.

Resources

If you need help to quit or limit your drinking, the Department of Defense provides screenings to help identify what type of support you need and what treatment would work best for you. They offer inpatient, partial inpatient, and outpatient treatment options.

Military OneSource
Support for Military Personnel & Families | Military OneSource is a DoD-supported service offering 24/7 confidential support and specializes in helping military members, families, and veterans. Services are provided by CONUS and OCONUS via call-in, live chat, and text on their website and mobile app.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
You may also call the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free and confidential treatment referral and information service (provided in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders and is available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. Check out additional resources for service members here.